It’s been a while since I can actually sit down and pour my heart out into another blank post. As my schedule is geting hectic and erratic, my system went haywire. My delicious thought of having a nice lazy Sunday was vanished with a complete makeover of our storage area. If it wouldn’t be because of LV Foundation For Kids, I wouldn’t have the full heart of doing so. It’s almost 80% done and hopefully by Friday, we can pack up clothes and books to be given away. I promised myself I’ll go to JKM tomorrow.

I’m a person with a very strong conscientious intuition. Sometimes it can get scary, when I think of someone and a few minutes later, that particular someone will call to say hi. When I wonder about someone, he or she would pop up out of nowhere, standing right in front of my very nose. I had strange dreams lately. Though I would say they could literally meant nothing, but unfortunately, they happened to be real. It happens to most peopIe, I know. But this is another story.

I shooed away a kitten from the middle of the road last week while hoping that it will stay away, safe from speeding vehicles and BANG! I ran over my very own cat this morning! And I swore he was nowhere nearby my car. How devastated =( [I'm so sorry, Jang]

As how I would describe it, the rest of my day was not that plain and easy. Along the way to Bahau for another stock-pilling, I kept repeating such horrid scenes : Jang was gasping for air while red, hot blood pooling the pavement. His eyes were watching me, as I wept and screamed. I had his blood all over my hands. And own my way to the vet, he died. I even heard whooping meows of cats ringing in my ears as I parked my car in several different ocassions. Don’t punish me God, please..

I would like to call the day off, but the rain starts pouring. And I started to weep, again. There were just some things in life that are so precious, you wouldn’t feel like letting go. I can be strong, I can be tough. But when it comes to my precious cats, I don’t dwell along very well with the emotions. I can accept deaths, but God, please, make them die naturally. I can’t stand the pain.

*Hoping for a good night’s sleep*