Assalamualaikum buat semua.

Hari ini berubah mood untuk menulis di dalam bahasa. Ayah pulang beberapa hari yang lepas untuk menemani saya membuat jualan di bazar Ramadhan sepanjang bulan, InsyaAllah. Bertemu kembali beberapa ‘regular customers’ dari Ramadhan yang lalu. Alhamdulillah, indah perasaan itu apabila ada yang masih ingat dan kenal.

Ketibaan Ramadhan kali ini disambut tanpa kehadiran emak di sisi. Adik- adik kembali menyambung pelajaran. Hanya saya dan ayah di rumah. Canggung rasanya apabila harus bangun di awal pagi dan menyiapkan hidangan buat ayah. Bukan sesuatu yang menjadi kebiasaan, apatah lagi saya selalunya ‘eat for one’. Kala ini, baru saya faham, tanggungjawab emak dan bagaimana emak memikul serta melaksanakannya tanpa alasan, tanpa jemu. Saya seronok melatih diri, seterusnya akur hakikat menjadi seorang isteri dan ibu bukan suatu perkara yang mudah.

Ayah yang juga faham situasi saya yang agak sibuk, turut membantu memasak lauk untuk makan malam dan sahur. Naik segan dibuatnya. Namun, disebabkan masakan ayah semestinya jauh lebih sedap daripada masakan saya, perasaan serba salah itu ditolak ketepi. Ayah hebat dan cekap dalam memasak, sehebat emak ketika di dapur. Semalam ayah menyediakan lauk udang masak lemak cili api berserta ikan parang masak asam dengan petai. Ayah saya hebat bukan?

Laptop akhirnya dapat dibaiki, alhamdulillah. Seronok menyorot blog-blog dari penulis-penulis kegemaran, sekaligus dapat mencurahkan rasa di blog sendiri. Jiwa seakan kosong kebelakangan ini. Terlalu banyak perkara yang ingin dilakukan. Perancangan dan perlaksanaan kadangkala tergendala dek pengharapan-pengharapan yang diberikan oleh manusia. Seharusnya saya akur, keterbegantungan harap hanyalah kepada al-Khaliq. Mungkin ini ujian. Manusia tidak dapat lari dari setiap ketentuanNya. Saya masih muda dan mentah; naif. Jika ‘mereka’ terus-terusan ingin mengambil kesempatan ke atas saya, teruskan. Saya ada hak untuk menentang namun tidak ada keberanian untuk menyatakannya. Rasa hormat terhadap yang lebih tua masih menebal. Saya yakin, jika janji Allah itu benar, hak saya di sisi Allah akan sentiasa dilindungiNya. Tomorrow is always a better day for me, insyaAllah.

Apa yang penting, niat kita dalam setiap urusan adalah semata-mata untuk mendapat redha-Nya. Bersikap bongkak dan takabur atas pemilikan pangkat dan harta jelas menunjukkan keegoan, kedangkalan, serta kurangnya rasa syukur terhadap pinjaman nikmat yang dikurniakan Allah itu. Mohon dengan sangat agar Allah tetapkan hati, kuatkan iman, agar kita tidak tergolong dari kalangan mereka yang lalai mengejar nikmat dunia dan mendamba pujian manusia.

Apabila Tunku Ali Redhauddin Muhriz; Tunku Besar Seri Menanti, mencemar duli di perkarangan bazar Ramadhan dengan hanya seorang polis sebagai ‘escort’, t-shirt polo hitam, ‘khakis’, dan DSLR di tangan, saya tergamam. Baginda berpendidikan University of Cambridge, memegang gelaran yang paling kanan di antara Putera Yang Empat, namun baginda tetap senyum dan menyapa rakyat yang rata-rata terkesima dengan kehadiran baginda ( saya tidak terkecuali!). Pengalaman emak ketika lawatan baginda ke Perlis turut sama hebatnya. Baginda sangat peramah dan mesra rakyat. It’s very rare and uncommon, contrary to our typical views on how usually a Ruler should behave in public. Hebat seorang pemerintah yang hidup penuh dengan hakikat ‘hanya manusia biasa’!

Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa buat semua

I had no idea what I had turn myself into. Isolation had played it’s trick, or maybe it’s magic. By saying so, I admitted that living alone is never a good idea after all. Often by thinking back, again and again and again, I wish I could just move back to KL anyway.

But it won’t possibly solve my problems ( I know I’ve created some unnecessary ones), but all in all, I need some companions. Although people can joke around and I can gladly give my smirk upon their remark on why I should get married by now, I took it as a personal insult.

Yes, they can play cupid. Some single lecturers in the college, some gorgeous doctors in the hospital, and then what’s next? ” Hey, my name is Munirah, single and available. When do you possibly think we can tie the knot?” Nah. That’s just plain great.

My lifestyle back in the city was not that perfect either. By becoming a loyal customer at a mamak restaurant back then, I got so used to menapau, and my skill at doing so is becoming more flawless nowadays. Socializing had been quite a challenge. Simple reason such as “I’m seriously busy” is just another, well, reason. Although I enjoy outdoor activities just as much as I enjoy napping in the afternoon, dragging myself out of my house in the evening is impossible. I couldn’t answer anymore, “Mak dengan ayah tak balik ke?” question. Nor that I can stand the view of housewives in kain batik, standing by the road, chatting gleefully while laughing. And, I can’t stand anymore stupid gestures from some pervert guys in town.

Is my life that miserable?

Looking at the bright side of everything, well, I’m about to turn 23. And yes, the question of “When will you get married?” surely bombarded any working females out there too. “When ayah and mak are coming back home?”, for one obvious fact, hey, these strangers know my parents, and they know me too (surprise, surprise!). Being well-known to a group of strangers can be quite spooky but who cares. I should feel good about that, I guess.

Tapau? I better eat for one rather than polishing up my cooking skill which end up wasting. In fact, I am good at cooking my own meal so why bother? Gossiping housewives? I better think twice about my future would look like too~

And yes, pervert men are everywhere. By moving back to KL won’t solve the problem. At least we don’t have that much of immigrants, here, in Kuala Pilah.

What do I do now?

Being an optimistic is easier said than done. But it can be achieved. At least, I am my own boss. I can wake up at any time I want, without worrying over my punch card’s timeline. I have my cats to listen to my nag and my neighbours who are concerned about me. I don’t have to do a wardrobe makeover every now and then, I am more than comfortable in my old pair of jeans and sneakers. And yes, I did meet a lot of gorgeous, young, hot doctors in the hospital everyday.

Feeling lucky?

I did!

Thank you Allah for this bless

Salam and hello to all..

It’s been quite some time since my last post. A lot of things had happened, eventually,. Some of those were pleasant[very!] and wonderful while some were not that very much inviting~

As the time of writing, I am at one of the CC in town, an indication of my defective laptop has been  protested upon my workloads. I got easily tired these past few weeks. Another stray of errands that needed to be done while in hope everything can be worked out fine, as quickly as possible. My sister already went back to Penang, to continue her studies in Master in USM. So, by that means, I literally have no assistant for the time being. And it doesn’t feel great at all. I was down with flu, sore throat and cough ever since my return from visiting my parents in Perlis. The thought of me boarding planes and crossing Malaysia-Thai border sent possibility-signals of H1N1 infection. But nope, alhamdulillah. My family-doctor just confirmed that yesterday. I am perfectly fine now. It’s just the usual flu and he asked me for extra rest. Hmmm…

By the way, wish me luck for my search for a bakery. I wish to hear some good news by tomorrow