It’s the time of the year when embarrassment is toying with myself.

Time to knock some great senses back into my head, send wishful hopes and thoughts out so that God can listen and angels can smile.

Yesterday was my birthday. But why am I feeling ashamed?

I had no ulterior intention of down-siding the true meaning of a birthday celebration. Very selfish of me when I personally think that birthday is just another mark of a year full of mistakes and honors, plus with anything else in between. A birthday is just another day. A day to make a great muhasabah of oneself, whatever one had achieved and one did not.

A day to mark an additional digit to your age. A day to realize you’re growing older and ponder if you have what it takes to diligently bring yourself out in the real world for at least another year.

A day to try not to cry for all the things you wished you shouldn’t do in the past 365 days.

A day that leaves you with an unenviable question, how come your friends can remember your birthday and took sometime off to write down those heart-warming wishes while you on the other hands, did not do the same?

Why?

I hate to admit I never really like to celebrate mine. It shows the bad side of me. But it shouldn’t be comprehend that others feel the same way too.

Some people just happened to enjoy their birthdays to the fullest. And I should learn how to remember theirs despite how busy and hectic life I may be having, through out the next whole year..and more years to come, right?

Somehow, tears stung my eyes. For all His bless, for all this super great family, for all my  fantastic friends, for all amazing clients; I hope they understand my flaws at ease and forgive me for all my wrongdoings.

Ayah, I enjoyed watching endless football matches with you. Screaming in joy, exchanging high fives, curses and praises; these are what made us a perfect companion for each other. A match is not worth watching without you by my side. Afterall, love is a verb. I don’t know how to tell you how much I love you but I know, somehow, deep down inside, you’d understand that you mean the world to me. Thanks for this sepet eyes, thanks for igniting the passion for football in me. Thanks for those hugs and words of wisdom. Thanks for trusting in me. Thanks for those countless support. Thanks for those breakfasts and lunches and dinners while in while it should have been a part of my duty as a daughter to you. Thanks for remembering my favourites. And the most important thing of all, thank you for understanding me. Thank you for all those chances you asked me to seize. I love you ayah. So much.

Mak, this road I’m taking is undeniably honey-combed with great pain. I stumbled, I fell and I learn not to weep. The only thing that keeps me running is your faith in me. Even at my lowest point of life, you’re still here to sing me lullabies and cheer me up with your voices from heaven. Did I make you proud? Can I still be able to make you prouder?

For your extreme patience, thank you. For your perfect judgment and sensible chants, for those unconditional love and affection, for your endless support and profundities; I humbly thank you. I can’t ask Allah for a greater gift than you. I love you mak. So much.

To my great clan; shoot me for I’ve been a great pain in the ass. Slap me for I’ve been messing our perfect little house with my things. Punch me for I had sometimes being boastful and proud over these few victories. Scold me after all my wrongdoings, congenital habits and unintentionally hurtful words. Do whatever you wish you want to, but I will never stop thanking Him for giving me a group of sincere yet outspoken critics. I will never stop loving you for all those bittersweet times we shared as we grew up. And I will never forget your beautifully phrased praises for all things I’ve managed to achieve by far. Sisters and bro, I love you so much.

Supportive friends and creditable clients, you have a special place in my heart where He knows what I’ve been praying out for all this while.The world may sometimes be ruthless. The people may somehow turn toxic and poisonous. But I do hope you can bear with me. I may forget more birthdays, I may even forget some names. But I pray so hard so that those encouraging words and ripple of pride will stay vivid in my memory. I love you guys. So much.

Ya Allah, thank you for all those lessons of life. Thank you for another great year I had lived on. Thank you for Your bless. Thank you for making my dreams came true. Thank you for Your trials and tests. Thank you so much dear God. Lead us all to the correct path.

Gosh, it’s more like a prolix already!

Take care all.

Endless love,

SITI MUNIRAH SULAIMAN

Salam to all.

A mere warning. This is not going to be an easy-to-read post. My system is barely working. My almost senseless brain had only one thing in particular : MU is smashing Arsenal to the ground! Yes!

Menguaplah 20 juta kali sekalipun, I’m going to wait until the match is over Isn’t that what a die hard fan does, aite? I know I can sip some xtra sharp but trust me, in this condition, I can’t afford to stay awake up till dawn. I still need my sleep. And I can’t waste my very limited supply of the tonic.

Watch…

Yawn…

Held back tears….

Focus..

Some more yawn…

Typing..

Watch…

Yawn….

*sigh*

Today penat. Started baking from 8 am up until 1 am. I had so many plans, places to go, people to meet. But as soon as the phone rang, although occasionally,  I know I had to postpone some plans and readjusting my schedules. Sometimes prioritizing took place but most of the time, no. Patching up holes can be daunting and undeniably fussy. Bills to be paid, clients to meet, calls to return, things to buy, appointments to attend. Might as well when I had all the time in the world, the other party wouldn’t be able to make it. Imagining myself having an assistant who can drive around is a real heaven, neh? Anyone?

MU is still leading by 2-0. I’ll go back to sleep when the third goal comes flying in. Promise. Promise. Tomorrow is just another hectic day

Till then, I promise a proper post next time with an advertisement for Mother’s Day promotion I’m working on it.

Best regards and good night